1-800-HOT-DUCK Crazy Person Shirt

There are many bootleg-ass looking tees in the world, but I have set out on a quest to make the nastiest, most depressing, most weird vibe shirt of the common era.

Featuring a still from a Videoke video for Lisa Lisa's hit "All Cried Out," this pixellated and blurry swan of sadness sits awkwardly in a pool of tears. Printed with love by hand using a heat press (like they used to do down the shore on the boardwalk iykyk) on a disgusting poly-spandex blend pure white t-shirt. A 1-800-HOT-DUCK logo is printed on the inside back of the shirt. It's disgusting.

The shirt is as soft as a baby's ass. Your nipples will show clean through like a wet t-shirt contest on a dry day. Might catch a charge if you don't wear a bra.

Very limited edition run of five shirts because they're too gross and no one in their right mind wants this. Freaks only. There will be errant print marks and probably a weird stain on a few. You are meant to wear this on dark days, spill coffee on it, yellow the pits, and wear it until it's threadbare and smells like a fish tank.

Truly evil clothing. I am cackling at the thought of you wearing it, and I know you will love it immensely. You understand. Enjoy!